The freedom I feel right now, finally breaking through to write this. Somehow I've found myself trapped in a concept, that I can't communicate with people. Somehow, a protective shell has been ripped off my soul, and I tolerate less and less contact while actually, I feel more and more love.
When I sit with a new person, I think about my dear friends with whom I haven't sat in a long while, and think about the easy exchanges, the overlapping outpours that obliterate any fear of silence, just the acceleration of time that makes the sofa bed such a necessity, the hope to have some pajama time together, and how goodbye happens walking backwards, not wanting the contact to end.
I just never know if that new person will become a true friend or if more of my soul rips away in time disappeared politely.